旅遊美食筆記

香港版那些年
超好笑的，哈哈！！

這不是10幾年前「鐵達尼號」正紅時才有的笑話嗎！？
沒想到...10幾年後，又捲土重來，重出江湖！！
問題是...還是一樣好笑欸！！哈哈！！ 
李奧納多迪卡皮歐真的很可憐，都這麼多年了，也拿過影帝了，還被叫錯...嘻！

 
前幾天在PTT八卦版看到的文章﹝含圖﹞，還滿好笑的！
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作者: amsner (相信就有力量!) 看板: Gossiping
標題: [爆卦] 藍色黑心商品有毒，選綠的就對了！
時間: Thu May 26 20:33:53 2011
本世紀獨家精選，廣告文案老實樹金牌獎~~
得獎作品：「 藍的有毒！選綠色的才安全哦~！」
得 獎 者：Carlito Maverick (日裔美籍台胞~~)
得獎理由：文字精練，既符合時事，且精準描繪政治真實狀況，百年難得！
圖片：

悅氏，你...你...真的很大膽！敢得罪馬騜！

這個滿好笑的！哈哈！！

PTT看到的...很好笑！！
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十大謊言
1.同學：我沒念啊，不知道為何考這麼高。   
2.來賓：大家好，我只簡單講兩句。
3.老闆：我不會忘記你的貢獻。             
4.職員：明天我就不幹了。
5.商人：虧本大拍賣，只到今天。           
6.明星：我們只是好朋友。
 
7.政客：我決定退出政壇！                 
8.女孩：這是我的第一次。
 
9.父母：我幫你把紅包存起來了。          
10.歐巴桑：帥哥~~~~~~~

PTT笨版看到的文章，超好笑的！
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作者: chadofhi (呆呆哎) 看板: StupidClown
標題: [無言] 政大飲料店
時間: Mon Feb 28 00:59:53 2011

超好笑的，這個！
同學介紹我看這個youtube裡的BBC節目片段「我的黑莓機不動了！」  超好笑的！片中很多同音(近音)雙關語，超好笑！  因為英國腔很重，所以挑了個有中文翻譯的版本給大家看，真的很好笑說！  尤其是最後要送給孫子的禮物﹝不能講以免破梗﹞，超爆笑！

前陣子黑特版有篇文超好笑的，我是因為它被轉到笨版才發現的，笑死我了！！和大家分享！！！
真的超好笑！看到照片我笑到肚子痛說！！哈哈！
-------------以下是黑特版原文------------------
作者: modalin (moda) 看板: Hate
標題: [超幹] 幹...不會做蛋糕還敢出來開店
時間: Fri Dec 10 16:46:49 2010

昨天在ptt信用卡版看到這篇po文，超好笑的啦！ 中國信託怎麼了，被盜帳號了嗎！？ 推出這種促銷活動！還限收到簡訊的貴賓才能參加！？笑死我了！哈哈！
ps.本文和推文都很好笑！
----------以下是本文分隔線----------
作者: prince (支那是貶義詞?) 看板: creditcard
標題: [閒聊] 誇張的支那信託促刷簡訊
時間: Fri Feb 12 22:32:19 2010
昨天收到的：
刷 19萬元 回饋 100 元。限收到該則簡訊的貴賓才能參加，而且還要登錄才能參加。
(我如果去登錄參加這個，那我一定是頭殼壞去。)
沒有圖，因為覺得太誇張，拿給兩三個人看過後就很鄙夷的刪除了。
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 140.112.66.66
推 senju:真的很誇張 員工要放假了來搞笑的嗎 哈  
推 TZUYIC:其中15萬配給永豐八通可以拿到5000元回饋，廢牡蠣愈來愈超過了                            
推 allsilence:誇張+1   
→ fleetly:惡搞嘛@@   
推 gucci2:剛收到也以為自己眼花...  
→ siliver:XD         
推 ayen0422:這回饋率...        
推 jimsh:我是刷20萬回饋100耶....XD  
推 ROCAF:這是什麼鬼回饋率啊  
推 TZUYIC:刷20萬回饋100，回饋率0.05%，當客戶是白癡阿，家樂福好康卡都0.33%了，欠揍的牡蠣
→ TZUYIC:要羞辱客戶也不是用這種方法吧。(／‵Д′)／~ ╧╧
推 TZUYIC:隨便辦一張阿撒不魯銀行的現金回饋普卡也有0.1%回饋率。
推 cityfans:XDDDD     
推 jmz:限收到該則簡訊的貴賓才能參加喔 
推 yth1978:<( ‵皿′)╯＿ˍ▁▂▃▄▅▆◣  (/ ￣#)3￣)/支那
推 iamhsg:神經病(關手機)

笨版看到的，超好笑！
我明天也要來吃兒童餐啦，哈哈！
-----以下是原文分隔線-----
作者: childish1007 (幼稚鬼) 看板: StupidClown
標題: [聽錯] 麥當勞新玩具
時間: Sat Feb  6 16:51:24 2010
話說
昨天宵夜我跟我妹想吃麥當勞
點完餐後
店員問我們要不要加一個哆啦A夢生肖的玩偶
看我妹好像喜歡就加購了一個
然後店員問說
請問有要選擇生肖嗎？
我妹回答說
          馬的
只見店員愣了3秒...
然後默默的轉身拿玩具....
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 114.47.208.36
-----原文結束-----
哈哈，我明天也要這樣點...嘻！
馬的哆啦A夢會不會第一個賣光啊...哈！

當爸媽一定要看
◎媽媽之歌

太猛了！  看完再看
◎爸爸之歌  

◎Here are the lyrics：
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I'll thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an "A", Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a grip
Get in here 
I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of...
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until you're 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before
That you’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da

昨天在笨版看到一篇有點西斯的笨文，笑死我了...超好笑...
和大家分享
-----以下是原文分隔線-----
作者: greenday1006 (機率遊戲) 看板: StupidClown
標題: 原來妳的高潮是假的
時間: Sun Jan 10 23:29:13 2010